She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
