So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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