i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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