her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
