It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
