I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
