I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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