If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
