When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
