i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize