I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Panties = found
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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