so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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