You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
