i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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