Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
