Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
