I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
