i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Who wears a wallet chain?!
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize