I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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