it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
