I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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