i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
