I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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