My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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