love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
