Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
