I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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