Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
