oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize