Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize