why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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