I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Life is so much better after having sex.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Randomize
