She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
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