WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize