We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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