Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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