i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
