I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
