i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
