Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
