U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
