those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I checked into jail on foursquare
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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