the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
