Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
