Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
you win again, gameday.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
