I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
