no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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