There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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