in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
