Someone shit on the floor
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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