And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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