Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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