Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
You were trust falling into bushes
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
