I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
