so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
