She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
