I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
You smell like stripper and shame
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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