I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I think your dad took our porno
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
