Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
