they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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