all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
