so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
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