awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize