Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
