Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize