Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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