I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
