i jhust puked up my retainher.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
