well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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