You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
