the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
