It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Randomize
