Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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