i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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