Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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