I'm eating all of the evidence.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
